Resist the temptation to compare!

Why does my baby appear smaller than other babies her age?

If you've ever asked this question you are not alone. 

Alicia looked smaller than other babies her age or some that where even younger than her at church, new mums club and baby massage. Also when I would meet people at the shops or on public transport they would ask me her age and say 'oh she's small, she's only tiny' I had a few people say 'wow big baby'. No one of these people had a weighing scale, they just used their human eye to judge. Once in the space of a few minutes I had someone say 'big baby', I smiled. Then the other said 'small baby' and I frowned. I would even ask other mums 'how old is your baby' then I would become sad that they were same age as Alicia and she looked smaller. What kind of roller coaster ride was I beginning to board? 

My daughter was weighed weekly, then twice a week and then monthly from about 2 months. She was never under weight. She was always the right weight for her age. Babies sizes vary for so many reasons. I knew this. I calculate children's medication doses. There is no one weight for a certain age, its always an average. But I wanted my baby to look big and healthy. I felt if she was small, I wasn't being a good mum. My husband would always tell me to 'chill'. But no, I took on a new mantle of worrying! 

I know people that asked me these questions didn't mean bad so I had to deal with the root cause of this temptation to always compare and get content with my baby girl. Knowing that she would develop at her own pace and as long as her health was not in any danger then it did not matter if she was  three and a half months old and still wearing clothes for 0 to 3 months.  I can't start setting her up for unhealthy competition this early in life or any other time for that matter. If I did not nip this in the bud It would carry on to crawling, teething, walking, talking, school, career, marriage... Got to get off this roller coaster NOW.  This is not the type of foundation I want for her. I need to help my baby girl run her own race and not another's. I want her to be free in herself and in her blossoming time. I don't want her to go through life with unnecessary pressure that she will probably never  be able to fulfil.

I had a devotion one evening that helped re-shape my perspective and it is safe to say I have been delivered. I still get asked developmental and weight questions but they do not bother me like before. I am happy in my daughters development. 

Here are a few lessons I learnt from my devotion that day with some supporting bible verses. I hope you find them useful, if like me you have struggled in this area.

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CONCERNING ALICIAS GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT.

Cast all your cares on God [Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7] Do not worry, by worrying you can't make her fatter. So do you think if she was fat you would be content? [Philippians 4:6-7] Pray about everything. Tell God what you need. [Matthew 6:25-34]. Stop comparing her with other babies in your new mums club, massage class...Whether she is bigger or smaller. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. This comparison is useless. [2 Corinthians 10:12. Psalm 139:14-16]. God is the one that has taken care of Alicia from conception to this point and He will continue to. Do your best for her as a parent but know that it is not your worry that keeps her. It was God that took care of her when you had a C-section. At the hospital it was God, at home it has been God. God has been the constant best friend. When my mum was here when Joes mum was here, it was God. He who has began this good work in her will be faithful to complete it. [Philippians 1:6]. Commit her to God, He is able to keep that which is committed to him. [2 Timothy 1:12] ALICIA IS OKAY. 

Don't let comments make you happy or sad. When someone says she is big for her age you will be happy. When another says she is small you will be down. 

Your baby is ok. There is no competition going on. No one is being given an award. 

Don't ask other moms sensitive questions that can make them feel bad or question their parenting or if their baby is ok. You always pray for wisdom for the doctors and other health care professionals so trust that God will work through them. Stop looking for something or be wrong with Alicia. Celebrate the good things; her beauty, her hair, her smile, her activity... She may not be fat but she's many other things. She is okay

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Every baby is UNIQUE. Your Baby is OKAY! Stop the comparison. Celebrate your baby. If you are genuinely concerned about anything; weight, feeding, sleeping, pooing... Speak to your health workers. 

All this comparison is unwise... 2 Corinthians 10:12.