MAXIMISE RELATIONSHIPS

I spoke to one of the new mums in my New Mums Club who moved to England just after she got married. She had a baby earlier this year and still considers her self new to the UK. Vicki is mummy to 9 month old John. She loves being a mum and is particularly enjoying the bond she is forming with her son in the first year of his life.
I asked her what she thinks about being a mum here compared to what she would have expected it to be in Nigeria where she comes from.

Vicki and John

The biggest difference she finds is the fact that in England you are kind of 'on your own', and even though your mother or mother-in-law may come for omugwu (Igbo word that has now become a Nigerian word which is when the mother or mother-in-law comes to take care of the daughter and the baby she has given birth to) the time they spend with you is always limited. In Nigeria one can hire help and there will always be family members, neighbours and well wishers around to help you care for your baby.

Vicki, her Mum and John

In England, she feels like she needs to ask to get help and she doesn't want to appear as a burden to anyone. People here lead such busy lives. It's a DIY kinda place. She enjoys the health care system. She likes how the health workers; doctors, midwives, health visitors are available to answer new mums questions and put them through things they don't know. The system is quite organised and she knows who to call for what. The health workers are constantly in touch to monitor your baby's growth and development at each stage.  She also likes the fact that health care is 'free' and not a function of your financial ability. She is thankful for the system were she is and is making the most of every relationship.

One relationship in particular Vicki has found helpful these past months is her relationship with the other mums at our New Mums Club. YAY to the NMC!

NMC taking over Meadowhall, One Buggy at a Time!

Speaking to her made me think of all the relationships a new mum has. Some will be deeper and stronger than others but none the less and it is up to us to maximise these relationships.

As a new mum you have or should have relationships with your:

Spouse/Baby's Father, Mother/ Father, Mother-in-law/ Father-in-law, Siblings, Friends, Extended family, Church members, Doctor, Health visitor, Midwives, Nanny/au pair, Minder/Key worker, Various Mummy/Baby groups and so on.

All these relationships though different will help you at one point or the other in the raising of your child. We will always need people. We need to keep these relationships healthy so we can reap the maximum benefit from each of them. Because we are humans, we may not always see 'eye to eye' with some of these people we are in relationship with, some of their methods of caring for baby may appear archaic or foreign to us but we don't need to dismiss them altogether. We may not always have 100% of what we want but even if it's just one of these relationships you have, make the most of it, don't live like someone that has no one when you do. Just incase any of these relationships have gone south, let's repair and strengthen them for the sake of our babies.